We create countless Unhappy Relationship in our lives. From relationships with parents, siblings, relatives, colleagues, children, partner, boss, coworkers, friends, to relationships with oneself – this relationship happens to be often overlooked, but more on that another time!
Which relationships in your life do you find happy and which are not? Are you able to clearly say why? Many people are not entirely clear here! What is the root of unhappy relationships? Why, even if we don’t feel happy, are we still stuck in them? While all unhappy relationships can burden us in the long term, unhappy romantic relationships cause the most suffering and the greatest fear when it YourLatinMates comes to making changes!
Unhappy relationship – you mean what?
When we are in an unhappy, romantic relationship, many of us try to rationalize our feelings of grief and sadness. We often say to ourselves:
” Maybe I’m not too understanding”,
“It wasn’t always like this”,
“This person really needs me”
“Everything else can change”,
“Maybe it’s my fault”,
“Maybe every relationship looks like this.”
Signs of an happy relationship
Every relationship over the years can have its better and worse moments. When can you begin to ‘classify’ a relationship in which one or both of the partners do not feel permanently fulfilled / happy?
To begin with, a few tips about your partner’s behavior that may indicate that he or she does not feel happy in the relationship:
- Doesn’t spend much time at home / spends less and less time with you.
- He prefers to work alone rather than together.
- He does not talk to you about himself, his needs / dreams, emotions. It creates a wall of silence between you.
- It causes arguments, you have the feeling that any topic is good to conflict with.
- He’s getting more and more critical and irritated towards you.
- He has less patience with you.
- He communicates with you in a “sarcastic”, disrespectful way.
- It becomes distant in the intimate sphere.
- He takes himself into account in the plans, ignores your opinion / availability.
Your feelings, which may mean that you have not been happy for a long time, even if you do not explicitly call it that:
- You feel depressed about your home life.
- Hide your authentic self / dreams / desires
- You distrust your partner and often his / her cell phone, e-mails etc to find evidence that would confirm your distrust.
- You don’t want to make commitments / long-term plans.
- Often think that your life would be happier without a partner, with another partner, including your ex.
- You often take offense at your partner.
- You move away emotionally / intimately.
How many points do you have on your list? If there are several, chances are good that you are in an unhappy romantic relationship! What do you want to do next? YourLatinMates.com How long does it take?
The reasons for the unhappy relationship
If you are unhappy and want to change, it is important to understand what may be the source of your relationship problems. The following behaviors may affect one or both partners at the same time.
- You give “passes” to inappropriate behavior and violating your boundaries / values.
- There are addictions and extreme behaviors (e.g. gambling, shopaholism, video games, binge eating, alcohol, drugs, but also workaholism or addiction to hobbies, even if it is a sport).
- Mental health problems, especially if the affected person allows the mental health challenge to guide their life. It does not include situations where there is a clearly ‘practiced protocol’ that keeps disease under control.
- Cheating / infidelity, both physical and emotional.
- Narcissism, selfishness.
- Incompatibility in the area of underlying values / union deal breakers. Violating your values / needs, submitting to the needs of your partner to enter or stay in a relationship.
- The acrasion effect (Greek for “no control”). An attitude where you do something even though you know deeply that it is not a good idea. Various kinds of fears or self-sabotage are common grounds.
- Lack of conflict management skills, building compromises by force.
- Interdependence- taking responsibility for your partner and relationship.
Stuck in an Unhappy Relationship –Why Do We Do This?
Since we feel unhappy, and feeling happy is often in the top three goals for most of us, why are we stuck in suffering? Do you know your reasons? Below are the most common ones:
- Joint property / joint property
- Fear of the unknown – often felt as severe stress in the body with ” what’s next” thoughts?
- Lack of autonomy / independence and fear of it – the partner manages the accounts, makes important decisions.
- No own finances
- Reluctance to start over at a certain age.
- Hope for a change.
- Fear of dating, the belief that you will not meet anyone else.
- The cost of divorce, financial and emotional.
- Worry about what others will think.
- Reluctance to admit failure.
- Fear of conflict / conflicts.
- Fear of domestic violence.
- Religious reasons.
This list is not exhaustive, you can add your reasons to it!
Why is having an unhappy relationship a bad idea?
When we have problems in a relationship, we often have a tendency to rationalize, justify or minimize it and explain it, whatever it is called lying to ourselves. Unfortunately, it is the lies we tell ourselves that create the cement that keeps us in unhappy relationships. When I lie, I mean telling yourself that you are exaggerating, that everyone is so, that today it is difficult to be fully happy, etc.
I’m not saying that if you call a spade a spade and admit to yourself that your relationship is not happy, it’s time to break up. Ending a permanent, long-term relationship is a serious decision. There is no one right answer and solution for everyone, sometimes you need the support of a relationship professional.
To be sure of your decision, or to make the right decision, it is important to understand your patterns, fears, patterns, or attitudes in love, for example, “ Have you been taught that unhappy relationships are” normal “? “ Did you grow up in a family with drugs / alcohol, fear, silence, verbal aggression? Have you been taught that there is something “wrong” with you and you expect too much?
Before making a decision about the future, it is worth organizing yourself and your interior!
Thanks for reading this post to the end. Being happy in love brings us immense suffering from which we sometimes see no way out. I hope this post has helped you take the first step – that is, admit how you feel about your relationship or other important relationships. I know reading the article will not introduce revolutionary changes, but every revolutionary change starts with a small step – a thought, a small decision. Hope I encouraged you to empower yourself in your values that will bring you happiness instead of emotional anxiety!